Here's the newest and latest
from Sarah. She continues to serve in Livorno with Sorella Weidmann. In this
installment she encourages fellow missionaries to "get tight with God,"
testifies of His love and power, becomes a street artist, and learns that she
is "next to useless in high pressure situations."
3/23/16
One Nice Conversation
This week has been full of
people canceling appointments on us last minute which has resulted in quite a
bit of aimless walking around if I'm being honest. We did have one nice
conversation with a lady and her dog though. Her dog was the cutest and was
jumping all over us and so we stopped and talked about random stuff for a while.
Our missions, cheese, various rivers in Toscana, families, Easter, meat, vegetarians,
etc. It wasn't like a super powerful spiritual encounter or anything but she
left probably maybe hopefully thinking we were cool or chill or something. Boh.
At least she doesn't think Mormons are the Amish anymore. That is usually what
people think.
Drive through Toscana
This week I got to take a
drive through Toscana. We had a stake conference in Firenze and we drove up
with a member. We had to leave pretty early in the morning to get there on time
and the whole drive up it was bright sunrise morning light with a misty blanket
because of the morning humidity. Green rolling hills, old towers, wine
vineyards, old bridges over winding rivers and streams, fields of young
flowers, it is so magical. And you don't see it from the train. I'm so lucky. I
don't know what I did right, but wow the car ride there and back was enchanting.
I was just thinking "God, you are masterful" the entire time.
Stake Conference
The stake conference with
Elder Christofferson was pretty great. He is a really cool guy. Really easy
going and tranquil. My favorite part of the conference though was when we sang The Spirit of God all together at the
end. Elder Christofferson had just finished leaving a blessing on the Toscanan
people and then we all sang this robust hymn together in Italian and I was
actually just so moved by...I guess the Spirit that I started crying. It just
kind of hit me again how beautiful group worship is. Here we are, a bunch of
misfit sinners, all with our own stories and pasts and trespasses, but we are
all gathered here singing in unison these notes trying to reach and praise our
God. "Soon the day will come when the lion will lie down without hatred
next to the lamb and Jesus will come in his chariot of fire to reign again in Zion.
And we will also sing with the armies of heaven, Hosanna, Hosanna, to God and
the Lamb." I also am just a lot more emotional these days with anything
that is "the last time." The last time seeing Toscana in a car, the
last time singing The Spirit of God in
Italian in a group that big. The last time seeing certain mission buddies. It is
coming to a close even now.
At the conference I also saw
CHIARA from Lodi!! It was so amazing. I was just sitting there when I heard,
"Sister Christensen!" I turned around and saw Chiara and immediately
started tearing up and jumped up to hug her. She started really crying and for
the first two talks we sat next to each other and held hands and she just kept
saying how much she had missed me and how happy she was that I was here with
her now. She is coming to Utah in September and hopeful we can meet up and catch
up then as well. :) I love that woman. I had to leave before we got a picture
though. And then when I was waiting in line to shake Elder Christofferson's hand
two other people came up and tackle hugged me! Annalisa and Gabriele from
Trieste!! What!? I was so so happy to see them and they were stoked to see me
and it was just such a happy reunion! Especially because we are going to see
each other again June! Gah. I just really love these people. I'm excited for
you to meet them. I also got to say my final goodbyes to some mission buddies
who are in different zones. Like Sorella Sharp. I love her. Man. Okay basta.
You get it. I love people. Moving on.
Scambio and Aftermath
I had my last scambio this week! Yay! It was alright.
The sister I was with just really needed to vent to someone cause things got
pretty tough for her with this transfer. So I was the listening ear for her. The
next afternoon we got back to Livorno and went to go get our bikes only to find
that my bike seat had been stolen #italy. So I biked around standing up on the
pedals for a while until we found a bike shop where they fixed me all up.
Teaching English
Then we went directly to English class and every English class I realize
more and more how much I truly love teaching. It is just so invigorating. At
the end of the two hours I am usually exhausted after giving out so much energy,
but it is such a satisfying feeling that I don't even mind. And it feels so
good when the students thank you and say you're a good teacher. The Anziano in Trieste
right now called me to ask me a question about the work there and apparently
the English class students there still remember MY NAME and tell the other
missionaries about how I was such a fun and good English teacher. :) I love
being appreciated! It feels so so good!
I Live in Paradise
Anyway, that is it for
today. We were going to go to Portovennere today because we didn't last week
but we are just going to hit up Portovennere when we go to Cinque Terre cause
they are really close. Today we are going to go find a nice beach and have a
picnic. :) I live in paradise. Love you guys!
3/30/16
Mostra
This week we had a...mostra? Idk how to say it in English. We
drew a big sign in chalk on the ground and talked to people. That. We had that.
I wrote "#alleluia: trova una nuova
vita" (find new life) on the ground in a piazza with the web address
and I wish I had taken a picture cause it looked pretty sick. It took a long
time to make and I made it so that there were vines and flowers growing out of
the word "vita." Anyway, it was just me and Weidmann at the beginning
because the anziani were at a lesson but it was WAY better when it was just us two
because people stopped and watched as we were drawing it which lead to a lot
more productive conversations. Probably because it isn't as scary to talk to
street artists as it is to talk to missionaries marching around trying to stop
you. Anyway when the anziani arrived they started stopping everyone and their
dog which is fine or whatever but...no one was biting and I think it is because
when you are so aggressive it puts people on the defensive. Instead, when we
were just designing it, people would stop and be like "Find what?" "Find
a new...what?" "What is the last word going to be?" "What
is this?" "Who are you guys?" "Why are you here?" Way
less scary. I don't know. The anziani have good intentions and if that is how
they do missionary work that is great but...I'm just not good at that and it
isn't effective for me. So I'll just draw stuff in chalk and turn and talk to
people as they glance my way instead.
"Keep Spreading Happiness"
There was this one woman who
came up to me and was like "Why are you wasting your time with this? You
won't convince anyone like this." I've been having a problem recently with
patience. Like, I'm still patient with people, but on the inside I'm not. But I
just kind of answered her in my most patient tone and was just like we aren't
trying to convince anyone lady. We are just here to give people hope who need
it. She was pretty cold and mean for a while but then something happened and
she was all happy and nice and at the end she was like "Keep doing good
things and spreading happiness girls!" I'm still confused about how that
happens but it is pretty cool.
Sidetracked by Comic Con
We had a lesson with Elena
and a new convert Azzurra this week. They are both the same age and pretty much
friends kind of. They are both kind of strange though. Boh. Anyway that lesson
also really tried my patience because they were both talking over each other
and over us. We were just trying to talk about Easter but somehow Azzurra
started talking about comic con and then Elena started talking about how she didn't
like when they scriptures said the wicked would be thrust down to hell. Now,
don't get me wrong, I'm down to talk about comic con and I don't really like
those parts of the scriptures either but when I'm talking about something
uplifting like Easter can we just talk about how uplifting Easter is, people?!
Gah. That lesson was at the end of a very long day and I literally just gave up
halfway through and sat back and ate my stupid gelato while they talked over
each other. I keep having to pray for
help to remind myself to love people as much as I can. Just being honest.
Grateful for Jesus
The next day was Easter
which was super. Sacrament meeting was particularly good. There was a talk
about how in the KJV Jesus says "touch me not" but the JST says
"hold me not." I like that more. It is just a little more...gentle
and kind. It was like he was saying, "man, Mary, I'd love to stay and have
a heart to heart, but I'm sorry I really have to go. Got work to do." And
then we had lunch with the Kennedy family which was awesome because 1) great people,
2) Americans, 3) amazing food (remind me to make honey glaze tofu when I get
home. Cane sugar+mustard=Bueno also Raffaelli 1pt sugar, 1pt ricotta, 1pt coconut),
4) they remind me of you guys sometimes. So I felt at home. And then we watched
"Finding Faith in Christ" and that was awesome. Sometimes I forget
how cool Jesus was. He was like a super crunchy vagabond who just went around
loving people and healing people and bringing peace and hope to people. I know
what you are thinking, "Sarah, it is just like you! Missionary work!"
But it just isn't as glamorous as that five minute montage of Jesus healing left
and right with the uplifting music in the background. And I don't think Jesus's
life was as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. But when all you see is
the glamour it makes you feel kind of lame about all the hours of walking you
did in Trieste without healing anyone or helping anyone. And yeah yeah maybe I
helped or healed someone and didn't realize it, but...it isn't the same. Jesus
is awesome and I'm definitely not as awesome as he is, but I wish they would
make a movie that is like, day in the life of Jesus. Like, was he all perky at
six thirty? Did he take naps after lunch? Did he ever go on pun runs with his
buddies? Did his disciples ever come to him with girl problems? Did they even
have girl problems?! And then we watched Elder Holland's talk from last year
"Where Justice, Love, and Mercy Meet." Great talk. And it made me
super happy and grateful for Jesus. He is just so good. He's the greatest.
Anyway, those were some of my Easter thoughts.
Meeting Vera
Oh! Also! During church on
Sunday this woman just walked into the gospel principles class and after the
class, we asked where she was from and all that and apparently she just read
some stuff about Mormons online and then found the church here and decided to
come for Easter! So cool! After church we were talking to her and had an
impromptu lesson with her about our church and it was so natural and relaxed
and good and I had randomly brought two LDMs to church that day so we gave her
one cause she ASKED for it and she said she wanted to read it (???) and then
SHE TEXTED US and asked if we could meet up and talk sometime this week. AND
HER NAME IS VERA! ."..Vera, what has become of yoooou..." So cool.
God is so good to bless us and to bless her. Pasqua is the best.
English Class
English class was grand this
week. We are reading "The Mysterious Benedict Society" as a class
kind of like a book club because they are tired of the lame stories we have to
scrounge around to find from old Ensigns and in general conference. So this is better
and they all really like it so far. Thanks Mom and Dad and Beth for finding it
and talking it up enough for me to remember it on the spot in English class
last week when they requested a book to read during English class. Then we
watched "Meet the Mormons" in English class and feasted on Cinnamon
rolls made by me. (They love American sweets! Do you know why? Because we
aren't shy with our butter and sugar. That is why. Just don't tell them what
you put in it and they will be fat and happy clams just like me.)
Things Are Good
Well that is about it for
this week. :) I'm doing good even though I can feel myself burning out. I'm
really trying hard not to die too hard but it is hard hard hard. Even taking
advantage of pday is hard. All I want to do is catch up on sleep, go to the
beach, and read Pride and Prejudice
in Italian. So that is what we did today. It was pretty grand actually. We just
took a picnic of tomatoes, Wasa crackers, cream cheese, oranges, and spuma (a most excellent Toscanan
beverage) to the beach and watched the wind surfers and listened to music/read emails/napped.
I was 100% content for those three hours. Things are good.
Commentary on Family Photos
P.S. Here are some things that Sorella Weidmann
said while looking at pictures of you guys:
·
After several pictures of Jojo
and Caleb, "OK. I need to meet them. Can't get enough...Can't get
enough." And, "Oh my. Sister, their eyes are so beautiful."
·
Pointing out the resemblance
of Mom and Beth, "Oh my. She is her mother. She will look like her someday."
·
About Beth, "She is
just like that elf from Lord of the Rings."
·
About Michael, "Oh my. Oh
my. He is very very tall, yeah?"
·
About Mom, "She always
looks so fresh. Like out of a health magazine or something." And, "Yes,
yes. She is a runner, isn't she? She has a very good body."
·
About Dad, "He has a
very good skull for being bald." She would also look at pictures of you
sometimes and just start laughing and saying, "I must meet your father. I
must meet him!" I don't exactly know how to interpret that one.
·
About Jacob, "Oh my, he
is very very beautiful. Very attractive." And, "Sister, you need to
be careful about him. He will be so popular with the girls. You must watch out."
·
About me...before my mission,
"Oh my. Sister, you were so skinny." :(
4/6/16
So Much for Sleep
So for starters I'm
subconsciously gearing up to go home and with it, the awful physical patterns
from the beginning of my mission are starting up again. I don't know what
changed this past week. I guess the end is just feeling really a lot closer or
something but I am very anxious and can't get to sleep at night. Like literally
I am up until about three or four every night just tossing and turning. It is
so awful. And no, I'm not eating sugary stuff before bed. I actually usually
have a cup of herbal tea before bed which is supposed to help with sleep. But
it's wtvr. I'm more accustomed to sleep deprivation than ever before though.
Haha. But it is weird cause I feel like I have a surplus of energy all the
time. I'm always bouncing my legs or tapping my fingers and stuff. We go on
runs at night to try and get some of the energy out which helps and I usually
sleep earlier the nights we go running but it isn't only that. Almost every
morning I wake up and just feel super sick. It goes away at around lunch time
but until then it is not fun. It's just the anxiety. My heart rate is just
going faster and I always feel stressed for no good reason. I don't get it. I
didn't WANT to leave home and to leave you guys 18 months ago. But now, I
REALLY WANT to come home and see you all again. So why am I anxious about it.
Grr. Super annoying. Idk. I'll just live with it like I did before and try to
remember things I did that helped before my mission when the same stuff was
happening.
Dying Testimony
I had my last Zone
conference this week. I gave my "dying testimony." (They started
calling it "commencement testimony." Lol. They think they can change
something as powerful as missionary jargon.) It actually went really well. Here
is a type up of what I remember saying. Two missionaries came up to me after to
thank me personally for what I had said, and one even texted me later that
night thanking me for my honesty. Here is the gist of what I said,
A lot of people have been
writing me recently saying things like "Wow, I can't believe you are
coming home already! That was so fast!" And I'm just thinking, "Oh no
it hasn't been. Longest 18 months of my life." But I've learned a lot and
grown a lot on my mission and for that I am grateful. I just want to share with
you guys two things that I've learned on my mission.
First, God is such a bro. He
is that person you can always always turn to. No matter where you are or what
you are doing. And he will never judge you because he understands you
perfectly. And he loves and blesses his children regardless of how perfect they
are. I would invite you to get tight with God. When you get pushed to the edge
(and you will be pushed to the edge several times on your mission) things will
be easier if you are good friends with God.
Something else I've learned:
A testimony doesn't just go in two directions. People are always saying your
testimony is either getting bigger or it is getting smaller. And maybe that is
true. But I think that it is more than a simple binary line. It doesn't simply
just get bigger or smaller. If anything, my testimony has gotten smaller on my mission.
But it has gotten stronger too. And firmer. And more precious. And more sacred.
And I want to end by sharing that testimony with you all. I know that there is
a God. I just know it. And I know that he loves us. I believe in Christ. I
believe that he is our savior. I believe in the power of his atonement. I
believe in its power to heal deep wounds. I believe in its power to enable and
edify us so that we can do more and be more than we could do or be on our own.
I believe in its power to comfort and console us in hard times. I believe that
BoM is sacred scripture and that there is power and hope and light in that
book. I believe that this church is good. And I believe that is what this
church can bring to us and into our lives. I believe it because I have seen its
goodness influence my life and the life of my family.
And I would invite you all
to focus more on the goodness. Wherever you can find it. A lot of the time we
get so distracted by our differences that we forget that we are all tied
together by goodness. We see people of other religions and think they are in a
different camp but really what is the difference between us and them? What is
the difference between us and missionaries for the Jehovah's Witness, or the
pope, or a Muslim mother reading to her children from the Qur'an? We are
striving to bring people closer to Christ, they are trying to bring people
closer to Jehovah, he is trying to bring people closer to God, she is trying to
teach her children about Allah and faithful tradition. We are all striving to
bring goodness into the lives of the people we love. We are all just on this
big, world-wide team for goodness. And it kind of feels good to be a part of something
so big. Anyway, I love you guys. Keep being good and giving goodness to others.
Vera
We had an awesome discussion
with Vera (the woman who randomly just walked into church last week) this week.
It was seriously one of the most uplifting and natural lessons I've taught on
my mission and I just felt so much like myself. She has an earnest desire to
come closer to Christ. That is why she was looking up our religion in the first
place. She had a lot of questions about our church—most of which should've just
made my stomach churn. She had read about blacks and the priesthood and gays
and polygamy and initially I had this moment of panic like, "no not
agaaaaain" but then I was like, "Nah man. Just be yourself and talk
to her like she's your friend." So I did. And it went great. She kept
nodding with understanding and relief. I think that sometimes God really does
put people in my path who really need me uniquely. She also asked a lot of
questions about doubt and questions. And when we answered her honestly about
our own spirituality she really opened up to us about her own doubts and about her
feelings of embarrassment in trying to be a part of a church because she always
felt too...too much like doubting Peter, is how she put it. Which I think is
beautiful in a really interesting way. I'm grateful for Peter's example of
strength through and IN doubt maybe in a similar way that she was grateful for
my example. I think we need each other, us "Peters," ya know? Anyway,
it was just a really great lesson and it was easy to feel love and sisterhood
with her. Then, as we were leaving she runs back up to us (we were just in a
piazza) and says to us that she feels like she should trust us and wants to
tell us one more thing. She then confides in us about something she has been
struggling with and asks us if we could say another prayer specifically for
that. We do and then I grab her arm and look her straight in the eyes and tell
her I believe that Christ not only suffered for our sins but that that same
atoning power can give us strength beyond our own. I felt a lot of power as I
said those words to her. It wasn't like another person was speaking or anything
like that but...it was different than usual. There is something really beautiful
and mysterious about this work that I don't understand. I'm going to miss it.
But I'm also not going to miss being a missionary. In the words of Walt
Whitman, courtesy of Natalie Blade (I'm just now realizing she has been a
silent but impactful MVP of my mission), "Do I contradict myself? Very
well then, I contradict myself. (I am large. I contain multitudes.)"
Lessons like this happen and I think, "man, if I could teach lessons like
that every day I would consider extending my mission." And then there are
days where everyone scowls at us and I just feel like a chubby loser who is
doing nothing. And some days I feel both. And that is okay because I am more
complicated than one feeling. I am more complicated than two feelings. I
contain multitudes. And so does everyone else.
Surreal Saturday
Saturday morning was pretty
trippy. I wondered if my comp had slipped acid into my oatmeal. We woke up and
I turned on the faucet to wash my face and the water came out bright orange
like Tang. That was unexpected. So I washed my face and drank Coke instead of
water for breakfast. It was great. Then we had a mostra again (I took pics this time) and so many weird surreal
things happened. Like strange people saying weird things to us and then walking
away, or a large group of older men in white jumpsuits walking past followed by
a larger group of younger men in pink jumpsuits walking past this time with
added cat calls and kissy noises. Then it randomly rained for like thirty seconds
and then was sunny for the rest of the day....can you say dreamworld? Then we
went to an appointment before lunch and the woman we were talking to was
telling a story, when out of nowhere she slapped the table, her eyes got big,
and both her hands were hovered over the table reaching towards me slowly. Not
going to lie, my first thought was along the lines of "holy freak what is
happening?" followed quickly by "what do seizures look like?"
After about three seconds of not knowing what was going on or what to do about
it, my companion grabbed my arm and whisper-screamed urgently, "what is
happening!" I had no words but was definitely really spooked. I let out a
"uhhhh I don't know..." And then she snapped out of it and kind of
slumped onto the table, letting out a weak, "Paolo" (the name of her
husband). I jumped up from my seat and ran down the hall trying to keep my
voice even and calm as I said his name "Paolo! Can you come out here a
minute!?" About halfway down the hall, I realized jumping up was a bad
idea. I was so spooked about the previous events at the table that all the blood
had left my head. My face was pale white in the hallway mirror and little black
spots were popping up everywhere. My knees were wobbly and weak and I slumped
up against the wall for support making my way to the TV room where I thought
Paolo was. But he wasn't there anymore, and I didn't want to go around snooping
because PJs are common in public settings, but I didn't know what the dress
code for private places was. So I walked light headed and buzzing back into the
kitchen where his wife was still slumped on the table telling them I couldn't
find Paolo. My comp looked at me and said, in English, "Sister, sit down.
You're white." Her husband came out of nowhere after hearing my calls, and
looked at his wife on the table saying calmly, "Oh, this happens all the
time. Don't worry." Then walks up, pats her head, and leaves again. I
still don't know what to make of it. But obviously I am next to useless in high
pressure situations. I might be able to have a cool and level head but a fat
lot of help that will be if I faint every time. After that we went home, had
lunch and then the day was normal. But those first hours I honestly felt like I
was living in a strange humbug-esque episode of X-files directed by Wes
Anderson.
General Conference
General conference was good.
I absolutely loved the women's session. Like you said, Mom, it was a total call
to action and it was super uplifting to boot. I still haven't seen the Sunday
afternoon session but I heard Elder Kearon's talk and Elder Holland's talk were
awesome. I loved President Uchtdorf's talk a lot and had a sweet experience
while listening to Brother Henry talk to us. More on that in my homecoming talk
probably. Also it was rad how many foreigners said the prayers. I wish they would've
said them in their mother language though. But even just the accents made me
feel like the church is trying to acknowledge the fact that we are going
global.
Getting Close
I can't believe how close we
are getting. It is literally so crazy to me. Definitely hasn't sunk in, but
every now and then I'll be on my bike or in a lesson and it will hit me for a
minute or two and I'm like "Woah. It is almost over." Definitely
excited to see you all again but the closer it gets the more I become aware of
the things and the people I will miss. Sorella Weidmann being at the top. She
is so great. Thank you for all the prayers that I would get good comps. God threw
me so many solids in that area.
Keep fighting the good
fight! Love you!
Sarah
 |
| Livorno gang |
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