God Is Good

Here's the newest and latest from Sarah. She continues to serve in Livorno, first with Sorella Garcia and now with Sorella Weidmann. She testifies of God's love and encourages her "simps" to add goodness and beauty to their lives. She also treasures her time by the sea...as well as every remaining gelato.

3/2/16

Rain

So I think it has rained for a week straight. But despite the fact that I am always wet and cold and my hair and makeup are "likewow" and I constantly have to lay my gloves and scarves on the heater to dry, I'm in a decently good mood usually. At a certain point the rain stops being a nuance and you just embrace the fact that you're basically taking another shower. Haha, for example, after a lesson on Sunday we walked out to our bikes and it was raining really hard so we decided to wait and see if it would let up a little. After ten minutes of gossiping about all the love stories of the YSA in Italy (perks of having a YSA comp from Rome), we decided the rain wasn't letting up and we had better just bike home. We started off and after about three minutes it really started coming down and we were soaked to the bone. Like literally it looked like we had jumped in the ocean with our coats on. My helmet was causing a river of water to fall into my eyes and so I weighed the cost of not wearing a helmet vs. not seeing and took off my helmet and started biking though all the puddles (which are more like lakes because the bike path to the church is atrociously paved) and dragging my feet through the deep ones and having a marvelous time. My comp was laughing at me but she eventually joined me too and we ended up taking the long way home because we wanted to hit up this HUGE lake puddle that is on this one street so we took a little detour in the rain but it was a riot. People in their cars probably thought, "oh, poor things" until they saw that we were laughing our heads off and getting wetter than was necessary at which point they probably considered calling the mental hospital to tell them that two girls had escaped. Haha, when we got to the one huge puddle on that one street we rode through it over and over again. Cries of ancora! Ancora! ....and people think missionaries are mature. Lol.

 

The Sea

Yes, I took this. #realipadphotographer

We had some time this week before an appointment to go to the sea and it was beautiful. It had just stopped raining and half the sky was sunny and half the sky was cloudy like it couldn't decide whether we deserved a water break or not yet. (Hehe word play. I can be clever English speaker still). Anyway we went down right next to the sea and took some pictures and videos and stood there for a while. I do not know how to explain how relaxing and rejuvenating the sea is for me. I legit could stand there all day watching the waves crash onto the rocks and looking at the slight curvature of the earth on the horizon. It is just so. Basta. I'm going to stop trying. No words. I just love how big and powerful and beautiful and untamed it is. The ocean does not take sides. It has no friends or enemies. It just is and it gives what it has to everyone. Doesn't matter if you are Brad Pitt or a beggar. The ocean is the same. And there is something kind of nice about that. I feel like there is a parable coming about God and how he is also big and powerful and beautiful and untamed and he blesses and loves all of his children but... I'm just going to leave it at that.

So Much Food and So Little Time

So then we went to our appointment with this family who is awesome. They are relatives of members and they don't really want to take the lessons or anything, but we stopped by and they were just the sweetest and gave us juice and cookies. I think it was that night that I had a really delicious gelato. Like so so good. I was bummed that there wasn't a La Romana here in Livorno but then I found this gelateria and I'm set. The pistachio has little crushed up pistacchi in it! And they have a salted Carmel chocolate that is to die for. So, ever since I got my travel plans I've had this weird anxiety thing where I feel like I need to eat all the gelato all the time. So I had three in three days and I feel great about it. Not just gelato but also cinque cinque and focaccia and mozzarella balls with good olive oil....there is just so much food and so little time.

Noemi

Then we had a lesson with this woman named Noemi (no-Amy). I called her one of my first weeks here while doing some area book finding. (Calling old simps who maybe were dropped for no apparent reason or when missionaries got space transferred etc.) and she said she would text us when she had some time. I took that as a no. But then last week this number texted us and was like "Hey I have some time next Saturday, do you want to meet up at the church at 11?" Uhhhh yeah.  Anyway, we were sitting there and we were kind of worried she wouldn't show up because it was raining really hard, but then she did! We talked to her for a bit and found out that she is a pianist and teaches piano and choir lessons and she is really cool and her boyfriend is a firefighter and she is just way cute and awesome. Then we asked about her religious background and she started explaining to us about how she really liked the philosophies of religions and the teachings of Jesus but with every religion she had looked into (including ours about 10 years ago when she was 16ish) she found things that just didn't sit right with her. As she was explaining all of this I started tearing up—partly because she was and I've become a sympathetic crier on my mission, and partly because I felt words or ideas or something come into my mind telling me that she was a borderlands spirit. She was explaining it in a different way but she was telling us that she felt like she couldn't belong and that she was different than most church going folk. Anyway, that was a really interesting thing to listen to her and the Spirit and then still not know what to do, but at least I was able to better understand her. Then we started giving the resto and we got to the part about Jesus's earthly ministry and as my comp was explaining about him teaching his gospel and working miracles and I looked over at her and once again I felt "No. Go back to the beginning." And so I waited for my comp to finish and then I was like, "Sorry, I know we talked about this a few minutes ago, but how do you feel about God?" And then she kind of sighed and then proceeded to cry and tell us that she had gone through some major trials in her life and she didn't understand why, if God was so good, why he would watch his children suffer like that. And I didn't really know what to say. My comp explained that the earth is like a school and that we signed up for these trials before we came here. Then she turned to me. And I still didn't know what to say, so I told her that I don't know why so many bad and sad things happen, but somehow, at the same time, I know that God is good and I know that he loves us. And the only way I know this is because one night on my mission when I really needed to know that he was close, he gave me the moon. And I was crying and she was crying and my comp was smiling and I told her that I could never forget that experience and there is nothing that could convince me that God doesn't know and love me because the feelings I felt are mine and they always will be. And then I kind of paused and then I said, "I can tell you that God loves you because I know he does, but you can't know it the way I do until you feel it." And she just started nodding her head and said "Yes. Yes that makes senses. Because your soul feels him differently from mine. So God would speak to your soul differently than he would speak to mine." Wow. Yes. We talked a little about prayer and then prayed together and...anyway, I'm not going to give you a play by play cause that would take forever but the lesson went on. She asked questions that I have and I was honest and gave my testimony and my comp gave her and the Spirit was there in a way I haven't felt it for months. So, yeah, it was hard, but it was also one of the most beautiful lessons I've ever taught on my mission. I felt a desire for her to be baptized.

Is There Room in the Church?

A confusing thing happened this week in church. Sacrament meeting. I've really been making an effort recently to just let the sacrament pray soak into my bones and let it...change me or motivate me or lift me or heal me or whatever it is suppose to do. And this week the man that said the pray for the water said it so slowly and beautiful and it reminded me of when Michael used to say it in our ward. It felt like he was really talking with God which I have never ever realized is a thing for the sacrament prayer. Like I know it is a prayer but it is usually said so repetitively and monotonously that you kind of forget that the words being said are being said to God. Anyway so I was really thankful for that prayer. And then the talks happened and the rest hymn and everything was moderately nice and Sunday and stuff. And then the closing prayer. The man stood up and began his prayer and then about two sentences in started ripping hard on gays--awful awful stuff. I stopped bowing my head and opened my eyes as soon as he started his homophobic rant and I almost walked out. One member (one of my favorites) actually did walk out during the prayer. And if I didn't have this tag on I would've joined him. Maybe I should've. I don't know. I'm not going to talk about how angry I was and how I let that ruin my Sunday. (I know I could've just gotten over it and tried to enjoy the rest of the two hours but I'm sorry I didn't want to. So I just sat there in malcontent for two more hours.) Anyway, believe it or not, I'm not telling this story to rant about how some members drive me crazy in this church and blah blah I'm so offended, let me lick my wounds via email (although the offer is very tempting).  But here is the real reason I'm writing this and this is the real the kicker. I'm sure you've already put two and two together but the man who said that horrendously offensive closing prayer was the same man who gave one of the most beautiful sacramental prayers I've heard in months. Maybe my whole mission. I just don't get my spirituality sometimes. I don't get a lot of things a lot of the time actually but especially this. It makes sense that this man could bring the spirit to my heart through one prayer and then drive it so completely away with another, but is so frustrating when things like this happen. And then my thoughts get the best of me and I start thinking things like "is there room for him in the church too?" I'm always going off about how I wish people were more open minded and would let me be who I am, but am I Christlike enough to allow room for him too? Grr. Why do things have to be so complicated?! I don't even know if any of this is making sense to you all but it was a really frustrating Sunday for me realizing that we are both just two imperfect people in an imperfect church pleading with God to make the world better in the way we think it needs to be made better. Even if those ways make the other want to pull out their hair and cry. I truly believe that God looks on the heart. But am I ready to believe that that prayer that was so ugly and mean to my ears was seen as a prayer of honest love and devotion to God and goodness from one of his sons? I don't really know. But things are getting crazy up here in my head. It's like there's this puzzle that I'm trying to solve but some jerk keeps coming up and pouring more pieces on top of my workspace. Once I think I have the border finished someone comes up and dumps a bunch of border pieces and is like, "Ha. Make it bigger foo'." Anyway those are some confusing musings from the week.

3/9/16

Cinque Terre

So this week started off fabulously with an amazing day at Cinque Terre. It was super rainy leaving Livorno but when we got off the train at La Spezia it was sunny and bright and clear. So that was awesome. We went to the first terra Monterosso and it was amazing. A beautiful beach, perfect  conditions, a slight breeze....I wanted to just lay out my jacket and chill in the sun for the rest of the day. But this is pday! We have things to do! Places to see! So we took a two hour hike to the next terra. We had a day pass that allows you to take the trains to all five of the terre as much as you want and you get free wifi, but there is also this trail that goes all the way along the coast and through the mountains hitting all five terre. In total it takes five hours so we just decided to do the first leg from Monterosso to Vernazza. It was a gorgeous hike and again, perfect conditions. I ended up shedding some layers but there was a cool March ocean breeze that felt good against the warm sun. The first part wrapped up the mountain against the coast giving you a view of Monterosso below and the blue Mediterranean, and then you were in the thick of the Tuscany mountains with  foliage everywhere and the occasional farm of lemon trees or stream or olive tree orchard. It was basically a magical hike. I was basically in paradise. And then we got to Vernazza which was also beautiful and spent some time there and then took the train to the next one where we ran into some missionaries and all of us went to the fourth and fifth one together and I'm going to stop trying to explain the terre and just send pictures instead. When we left the third terra it started raining hard but by the time we got to the fourth one (probably my favorite) it had stopped and we got to take a nice little walk around that one. And then the fifth one was just super windy and cold and beautiful and the lights in the tiny city on the sea were coming on and that one would be REALLY cool at night time. We got back on the train to go to La Spezia and then back to Livorno and all I could think was how excited I was for you guys to see it. It is seriously breathtaking and God is the best for making it.

Transfer News

I AM STAYING IN LIVORNO AND I LITERALLY ALMOST CRIED I WAS SO HAPPY. I was super scared that pres would send me out for my last one. But he didn't! Yay! And Sorella Garcia is going to LODI! I'm so excited for her and the members there. They are going to love her. And it will be cool to have that connection to my birth city while I'm down here in the south. I'm getting Sorella Weidmann. She is in her fifth transfer, I'm pretty sure she is Swiss (so many foreign comps! It is awesome!), and I've heard she is just super fun and sweet and cool. So I'm excited. I've loved all of my comps so much and I can already feel that this one is going to be great. Ten comps. Dang. I'm getting there.

Look for the Beauty

Things with Sergio are still good. He just says things and I just can't really say anything against them. Like, in our lesson the other day he said, "I've just been walking this path my whole life (referring to Catholicism) and I have felt the Lord in my life. So...I just don't understand why I should change paths." But I just said that he didn't have to change paths, just add on more good things to enhance the path he was on. The LDM, talking to God through prayer, serving others, loving your neighbor, coming to church, etc. He is already on a good path.

Things with Elena are okay. She just... She asks a lot of questions and then doesn't really let us respond but that is okay cause I usually don't know how to respond anyway. It is kind of a trial of my patience to teach her though. But she has a good heart. I just wish she would look for the beauty. Something that I need to work on too. I have been trying recently to really just focus on the things that are beautiful and uplifting and leave everything else...not behind, but just don't let that define my spirituality.

Well, that is about it for this week. I'm in Pisa right now waiting for Slla Weidmann to get here. :) Just chillin in Pisa, ya know. No biggy.

Hehe. Such a clever, original, classy selfie. #muchclever #muchoriginal #very classy

3/10/16

Sorella Weidmann

So yesterday I thought I was going to have pday so I sent my family letter in the morning and was going to write and send the rest that night when we went to the ward council in Pisa. So I thought I was going to spend an entire day in Pisa, sleep the night, and my comp was going to come on Thursday. But then pday was a disaster because all I got to do was go grocery shopping with the Pisa Sorelle and then run around the city running errands with them. Then finally we were at the church writing emails when they told us we had to come to the ward council, but then halfway though ward council we got a call from the office telling us that my comp was waiting for us at the station in Pisa. This whole solo travel thing is a mess. Especially when all they tell you is that she gets in to Pisa at 3:58 and don't tell you if it is Wednesday or Thursday. Soooo we ran to the station and I met my comp after she had been stranded in the station for something like 3 hours. :( Poverina, but she had a super good attitude about it. She was like, "I mean, I knew there would be a hotel somewhere so I thought, 'I have money, worst case scenario is I'll sleep in that hotel over there!'" She just laughed about it and told us that she also thought that she was going to come in on Thursday instead of Wednesday.

But, the good news is that I ALREADY LOVE SORELLA WEIDMANN!! She is super sweet and awesome and so understanding and I just felt so loyal to her from the moment I first saw her at the station. Lol. Love at first sight. I really just felt like God has blessed me with a great great comp this last transfer. I'm really really glad that I already feel so close to Sorella Weidmann. It is going to be a great last seven weeks. This is how much I love her: last night when I called to say goodbye to Sorella Yonk (who goes home tomorrow) I was really happy for her to go home and see her family and everything but I was also happy that I had seven more weeks. WHAT. She was happy she had seven more weeks? Yup. You heard it. I'm really excited to get to know Sorella Weidmann better and to bond with the members more and to just live it up and eat gelato and love with reckless abandon with a sister who has got her head screwed on straight. Weidmann is all about the people and the love and doesn't give two snitches about the numbers or what other people think. Anyway I'll wrap this up, but I'll write more next week about my awesome comp and the awesome people we are lovin'. Just know that I am SO good and happy and I really just feel lifted and blessed and loved. Dying transfer blessings <3

I <3 Sorella Weidmann!

3/16/16

Sorella Weidmann

So I know I already gushed about her last week a little bit but I seriously just love Sorella Weidmann so so much. I have been so happy this week. It doesn't matter if the work is hard or if we don't have appointments or if some guy yells at me and then hangs up when I'm trying to call his wife because at the end of the day (and all though the day) I can just talk with Weidmann. It's just so good. She also loves the sea and so we find any and every excuse to go there. No appointment? Finding at the sea! Appointment close to the sea? We should probably go a little early just in case bike traffic is bad! She is so understanding and supportive and funny and sweet and fun and I know how to say "I love you" in German and things are just so so good. I'm going to stop now but just know that these last seven weeks are going to be great and everything I want.

Church

Church was good. I really love this ward a lot. Something a little sad happened in RS though. There is this one less active that is a little... Well, she is pretty weird and not super hygienic and she kind of likes to pick fights and stuff during the lesson. But when she comes, it is super sad because almost everyone ignores her. Like she was raising her hand to read something and they always call on someone else. Or once they called on her and she accidentally skipped a line while reading and so they immediately picked on someone else to read. When she makes comments no one says anything about it. It is really sad. She even leaned over to me during the lesson and said, "See, they just ignore me. It is like they don't want me here." And I didn't know what to say. I kind of wanted to stand up and call them out. But I didn't. I don't blame her for being less active though. But I also don't really blame the sisters because...it isn't the easiest to get along with her. I don't know. Anyway. Then after church we had a lunch with some of the families, and me and the YW were at the piano singing songs together and it was so cute and felt like family. Music always feels like family. And then this little girl wanted me to teach her piano so I made up a little song for her and she loved it and was all excited and was running around saying "My first lesson! My first lesson!" It was super cute. Ashley kills me she is the cutest.

Teaching

We had lessons with Elena and Sergio too. Elena still has a lot of questions and they are legit questions so we are just trying to get her to pray more. Sergio basically told us this week that he doesn't ever want to be baptized, but that he does want to meet with us. I told him that if meeting with us was helping his spirituality than I am all for it. That's all I'm doing here. Strengthening people's relationships with God. Whatever that relationship is.

English class was good too. We read together the story of how the Hallelujah Chorus came to be and then we watched the Motab sing it and it was pretty cool. I really like teaching them. And I think they like me. For a two hour English class, I think I do a pretty good job of keeping it engaging and stuff. I don't know. I just like teaching. It is kind of fun and invigorating.

...Make that Firenze

We are at Portovenere today for pday and it is so so beautiful even if it is a little overcast. I'll send pics next week. Things are just really good here. Six weeks left. Weird. But I'm going to do my best to really use them. Love you guys!

Soooo I wrote that on the train to La Spezia but then I forgot to get off at Pisa and switch trains so we accidentally wound up in Firenze and just decided to do pday here instead haha. We went to the markets, saw a couple cool museums, wandered around the city getting lost in little streets for a while until we popped out next to Ponte Vecchio (so pretty), ate pizza scacciata and gelato, I bought you all some classy Italian gifts ;) so be excited, and have just had a glorious day in beautiful Firenze. And to top it all off, we are going to catholic mass at the Duomo di Firenze (so stoked). So basically life is good.

Love you all so so much, 

Sarah