Good Things

Here's the newest and latest from Sarah. In this installment, she wraps up her time serving in Varese with Sorella Adams, drinks in the beauties of the landscape, experiences both the flamboyant and the divine with the people of her area, and enjoys an opera at the breathtaking La Scala.

1/20/16

Campo dei Fiori

Wednesday night we had FHE with the only GANS in the ward. We went to this place called Campo dei Fiori which overlooks Varese. It basically was like a less impressive Y trail outlook kind of a thing. But it was weird to see the lights in all their curvy Italian-ness instead of their grid Utah-ness.

A Gorgeous Goose Chase

This week has been full of goose chases for referrals that we have received. This one lady will not answer her phone and she lives in the middle of this city that I don't think actually exists in real life. Anyway, one day we set aside time to go and try to find her. We took a train to one town only to find that the bus we needed to take didn't come for another 90 minutes #smalltownproblems. So we took a walk in the town and had a little adventure which ended in a photo shoot. Then we took that bus which never stopped in the town we needed, so we ended going up all the way to the border of Switzerland at which point we realized that there wasn't a bus back for a REALLY long time. Like three hours. So we walked to the train station to see if there is a train back to a place from which we could take a bus or train back to Varese. We hop on this train going to Laveno which has pretty good transportation and this train is BEAUTIFUL. Like gorgeous. And the whole train ride traveled along the edge of the lake. So even if we never ended up seeing the referral, at least we got a gorgeous twenty minute train ride on the edge of a lake. In general I'm just a huge fan of trains. I'm really glad that we have to take them all the time. I just get on these things and feel all relaxed and at peace with whatever is happening. I'm going to miss trains a lot.

Onelia

I met two of the most awesome ladies EVER this week. I mean, I knew them before but we finally got around to visiting them this week. One is Onelia and she is this really old, large, sick lady who is as sassy as a sass bucket. I don't really know how to describe why or how, but for example we were making pasta with oil and garlic and peperoncino (IT'S SO GOOD JUST YOU WAIT) and our ward mission leader (who came with us) was putting the salt into the water to boil and she ran over wheezing and coughing (because she was sick) and slapped him on the back of the head and kicked his legs yelling, "No! No no no! You always do the salt wrong!! You'll ruin it!" Then when we were all sitting down and eating she was like, "Yup, just like I thought, the idiot ruined our meal. It is missing salt." "But Onelia, you can always just add some more—" then Onelia, wielding the cheese knife, "STAI ZITTO, CICCIO." (Shut up, chubby. Except in Italian, ciccio or ciccia is a sign of endearment. Old people call me ciccia all the time.) And then just started chuckling and then burst into laughter and then we were all just busting a gut and she pinched his check and was like "Sai, che ti voglio un sacco di bene, Ciccio." "You know I love you, chubby." Anyway, she is my fav and she loves me "even though you're a vegetarian" haha.

Sorella G

Another one of my favorite people here is Slla G. We went and visited her and she told us she had just finished reading D&C and I was like "Oh, did you like it?" And she was like "No! Not at all! I mean, yeah there were some nice parts but for the most part it was all, 'My servant, do this. My servant do that. You, my servant, I'm not pleased with you but I guess I'll forgive you anyway.' God just seems like a task master like that and I don't like it!" I was just laughing and laughing and it was so nice to hear someone be honest about if they liked the scriptures or not. And then she went on a rant about the war chapters and about how the RS had tried to convince her that they were beautiful chapters and blah blah blah but she was just like "Nope. I just don't like them." Then looking up, "Sorry, Lord." Man, it was so refreshing to hear that.

Jesus Makes Things Good

So I've been thinking a lot about the passages from Isaiah that Dad quoted in his letter this week. I've been thinking about it ever since Christmas and I can't get it out of my mind:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound; ...to comfort all that mourn; To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;

So I was reading the four gospels during the winter months in a kind of preparation for Christmas I guess and this is, I think, the passage that Jesus reads before coming out and declaring that he is The Messiah. I'm not a scholar, I don't know things about timing and complexity and the nuances of this passage in this and that historical context, but right now I don't really care. Just at a very basic, shallow level, I don't think Jesus could've picked a better passage to jumpstart his ministry. This is going to sound very oversimplified but basically the way I read this is just that Jesus makes things good. He fixes what is broken, he renews the time torn, he brings out the beauty in a seemingly hopeless situation, he releases tension, he turns eyes to gratitude. I sure as heck don't understand how. And I haven't even begun to experience it yet. But this idea is something that calms me. I don't know how to partake of the power of the atonement. Yeesh. If it is lost on anyone, it is lost on me. Like you pray and then....I don't even know. But me fumbling around in the dark grasping onto anything, hoping that eventually I'll make it to Christ's boundless mercy? I don't think he will leave me fumbling. Not for very long. I think as soon as I take that first wobbly step— boom. I got chu. I don't think he will take away the darkness though. It says he makes beauty from ashes. It doesn't say he reverses the physics and the ashes turn back to their original form. It grows from the destruction and the pain and that uncomfortable end of whatever good thing you had to start out with. I don't understand it, no. But I think I have faith that it works. That it will work, that it is working. "Strength beyond my own," "Angels that lifted up my hands," and stuff like that. Boh. I can dig it. There are times in my life where I think I am graced with a little extra faith. Or a willingness to accept or something. And right now I'm feeling that, because all of this stuff for me right now just feels right and good and safe. And that is probably a result of him, too. Ya make things good, Jesus. Thank you.

1/29/16

The Sacrament

Sunday was a really good. So I'm the ward pianist because Italy, and during the sacramental hymn I almost started crying because for some reason the idea of the sacrament this week was so moving and beautiful. Then during the prayer I actually listened to the words which I am sorry to admit that I don't really do all that often. It is kind of a beautiful idea. Us children asking our Father to bless and sanctify bread and water so that when we eat and drink it we can gain a deeper spiritual closeness with Christ, the Spirit, and our Father.

Experiencing Divinity Together

So usually on Sunday nights we go to visit this less active couple. The wife is from Peru and is a sweetheart who seems pretty lonely. The husband is a big old guy with no teeth and a huge bushy unkempt white beard. Think retired Paul Bunyan. Anyway, usually he does little to no talking and he will never pray because he says he will get too confused and mess up his words. But this time he prayed. And it was a beautiful prayer. And then we watched a little video with them about Jesus and talked about faith and hope and how Christ makes things okay. And he started crying. And talked and explained to us his feelings for Christ. I was in awe that this big man who seemed so uninterested after so many visits was finally pouring out his heart. But I don't think he was really pouring it out to us. I think he was telling God these things. I think he realized how much he missed God and wanted to begin again. I'm so grateful that I had those twenty minutes to bring that one soul a little closer to his Father and to Christ. The most beautiful moments on my mission have been fleeting. There haven't been a lot of instances in which I follow and see the line as it slowly climbs up. It's more like these beautiful bursts of light that happen when my path of progression crosses with theirs and we experience divinity together for a moment. Human interaction and spiritual interaction is such a holy thing. How amazing is it that we can communicate and teach and learn and grow with each other? God is the best.

Motherhood

God is also the best because on Thursday we went to this new mom's house to bring her cinnamon rolls and her mom was there visiting from America and her husband's mom was there as well and we were just sitting there talking about how amazing motherhood is and how cool God is for making families his plan. Totally brilliant. Oh my goodness, side note, her delivery was the scariest thing ever. 1) her mom was in America for the delivery so no mom 2) she was going natural birth but then 3) emergency C-section 4) BEFORE THEY COULD GET ANY PAIN MEDICATIONS 5) it was all in Italian and I, for one, don't know nearly enough Italian swear words to go through an emergency operation with no pain killers for that. Anyway, now I'm never having children. But motherhood is great I'm weirdly stoked on life for that! Yes, those last two sentences are a paradox of my fears, feelings, and expectations. Isn't it strange how that happens a lot?

Ya Live and Ya Learn

So remember that song video I sent you guys? So I learned it that night while we were strolling in a park. After a depressing and unfruitful encounter with a grouchy man we sat down and she taught me this little duet song thang. And the time passed rather quickly. Very quickly. And then we were all alone in a dark park far away from light and people. Bad news bears. These are the huge gardens by our house and if you hike up a little ways there is this foresty place with tables and some children's play equipment. But anyway, it is about a seven minute walk back to the more populated area of the park which is down below. So it was dark and as we were leaving I saw this guy who was spookily just hanging out next to a tree. I had seen him about ten minutes ago and so that was my first tip off that this was no good. So I was like, "Okay let's go now. Talk to me in Italian." So we talked in loud Italian as we made our way back to the stairs with nothing but our little phone screen for light. We got to the stairs and this guy was definitely following us. So I did the next thing I have learned to do which is to call someone. So I called the anziani and we talked to them as we went down all the flights of stairs. We chatted with them and walked quickly down the stairs and then heard the guy yell out something behind us and my comp got spooked and started running. Face palm. But once one starts running you have to run with them or else you're the one that gets burned. So I started running as well. This whole time the anziani are like "Uh, what's going on?" Anyhoo, in the end we made it to the lighted section of the park and went out to the bus stop. Lesson learned. The freaky part is that we have no idea what that guy looked like cause it was so dark. But finding or singing or dancing or water fighting in parks will not happen after dusk. Don't chu worry. Ya live and ya learn.

Rest Up. Eat Up.

Here is a cool thing that I read this week. It is in 1 Kings 19:4-8:

But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am not better than my fathers. And as he lay and slept under a juniper tree, behold, then an angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat. And he looked, and, behold, there was a cake baken on the coals, and a cruse of water at his head. And he did eat and drink, and laid him down again. And the angel of the Lord came again the second time, and touched him, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee. And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights unto Horeb the mount of God.

I love this so much. Elijah was so discouraged that he said "It is enough." Or in Italian terms "Basta." "I'm not good enough. I'm not like my predecessors. I can't do this." And what did God do? Did he tell him to have more faith? Or to gird up his loans and just take it? Not this time. This time he sent him an angel who made him some grub and brought him some water. And then he took another nap. And then God sent him more food and more water and more shady juniper tree time. "Bro, rest up. Eat up. You are not in shape for the journey ahead. Stop kidding yourself." I just love that. It's such a peaceful, nurturing reaction to a son in distress that it makes me think heavenly mother had a hand in that one.

A Fabulous Poem

So here is a short, yet fabulous poem for your reading enjoyment. Say it out loud—it makes it better:

Stan stands on stairs and stares

At a band of pairs of panda bears.

Written by Anziano Andreoli who is currently serving in Varese with us. He said, he thought of this one night in a dream, woke up and knew he had to write it down. Guess what companion he ended up getting assigned to? Anziano Stanley, who we all know as Stan.

2/3/16

Rigoletto

This week has been so full of good things. :) It started with Friday. After hours of goose chasing and praying and waiting in lines (The upside about hours of line waiting was that we made a lot of really cool opera loving friends. Kindred spirits were found from Greece, Venice, Scotland, Napoli, and right there in Milano.) even when they repeatedly came out and told us there were no tickets and we needed to go home, we got in! And it was only 43 euro! Still really pricey, I know! But we had ourselves so pumped up all day long that we couldn't get to that ticket booth, see that there were four seats in our grasp and then walk away. So we got them and they were box seats! Don't get excited though. We were the two box seats in the back so we had to rudely stand on tip toes and breathe down the necks of the rich people who got the good box seats. But I am not complaining. It was absolutely incredible. Rigoletto's voice was insane as was the Duke's. And Gilda's voice....holy mamma. I don't know if you can look up the last aria of the second act but it is this duet between Gilda and her father Rigoletto and there is this note and it is crazy ridiculously beautiful. While she was singing I was trying to figure out what made it so beautiful. I couldn't. After that number the curtains dropped and we all went bonkers. Cries of "BRAVA!" And "BRAVI!" But mostly just "BRAVA!!" finally drove them to come out in front of the curtain and sing the aria one more time. And I just closed my eyes and soaked it all in. Just the happiest little clam in that opera house. And in the end when he has the body bag that he thinks is the duke, and then he hears the duke singing his infamous aria "la donna è mobile" and he opens the bag and his still living daughter is in there and he cries out "maledizione," it was just such a depressing, exhausted, miserable cry that it almost made me cry. I didn't quite cry, but nearly. Anyway, it was a great night. I wore my heels and walked around the breathtaking Scala like a real high roller.

Transfer Calls

The next day we got transfer calls...I'M GOING BACK TO THE SEA. AND EVEN BETTER I'M ALSO GOING TO TUSCANY FOR THE SPRING. The city of Livorno is the only city in the mission that is on the Mediterranean and in Toscana. God is the best. I really really wanted to go back to the sea and I also really wanted to see Toscana before I died. Here are some things in my area: Cinque Terre, Firenze, Siena, and Pisa. I'm literally so so happy about it. I am sad to leave Varese because there are a few people here that I really love and that I will really miss but I'm so so excited to go to Livorno. They call it the Napoli of Toscana because the food there is so good and the people there are so...southern. Harbin and McMurray served there before and they said it is amazing and the members are great and the city isn't all that beautiful but the rocky shores of the Mediterranean are amazing. My companion is Slla Garcia. She is Argentinian but moved to Rome when she was young. So she speaks fluent Spanish and Italian and doesn't speak very much, if any English. So that will be good and probably a little hard but I've always kind of wanted a companion who was fluent in Italian. I don't know really anything about her other than that, because I'm going to "bottle break" her. She is just finishing up being trained.

A Melancholy Hour

 After we got the transfer news we called our anziani and they were also really depressed cause they wanted to do another transfer together and they aren't. So we had a little pity party for ourselves and talked about the end of golden era. I love these kids a lot. We all went to Onelia's house (a member) on Tuesday for lunch. We ate this HUGE lunch with SO MUCH BUTTER. She could give Paula Dean a run for her money. Literally so much butter everything was floating. It was really delicious though. But anyway, after the four course lunch plus gelato we all ran to the train station but by the time we got there it had just barely left. So we went to the lake shore and spent the next hour skipping stones across the foggy lake. It was a very melancholy hour. But also a really sweet one. It was just nice to wander there for an hour looking for perfect stones, talking about nothing important, and nodding in approval for each other when it would kiss the lake eight, nine, ten, eleven time before sinking into the lake. I'm going to miss Laveno a lot.

Goodbye to a Friend

Another little snippet from the week, this one is a little sad though. So on Sunday mornings we always take the same bus and this little Muslim girl and her brother and their dad always take the same one. We made friends with the brother and sister a few weeks ago and since then, we always walk over to her and talk with her on the bus ride over. About what she wants to study, about what sports she likes, about her friends, about whatever. This Sunday we were over there talking to her when her dad came up and asked us if we were students. We told him we were missionaries for our church and he said, "Well, can you leave her alone then?" So we sheepishly said goodbye to our eleven-year-old friend and sat down in some other seats. She got off the bus at her stop and usually we will wave at each other through the window as the bus pulls away. The bus began to move and when we saw her we waved at her and she flashed us her huge beautiful smile and jerked her hand like she was about to pull it out of her pocket. But then her face fell, she put her hand deeper into her pocket, and gave us a sad smile before dropping her gaze to her walking feet. I know that the father meant well and that he was just trying to protect his daughter from what he sees as bad influences. I guess this is just another example of my universalistic philosophies crumbling under the pressure of an all too personal experience. It also made me wonder how many relationships are restricted and prevented because of the small black tag on my coat. But then again it isn't really about me and the relationships I build. It is about them and the relationships I'm helping them build with God and Christ. So I guess it is okay. It was just a sad short story. I feel like it could be a song or a poem or something. The saddest things, the most beautiful things, and the most moving things are always more complicated than we make them out to be.

Love love,

Sar