"Grace Shall Be as Your Day"

Here's the newest and latest from Sarah. In this installment, she continues to serve in Varese with Sorella Adams, finds that missionary work is a little slow over the holidays, learns what they do in Italy when no one brings the sacrament bread, and is reminded that God will take care of her in every circumstance.

12/30/15

Christmas Day

My comp was all cute and the night before she banished me into the room so she could set up all the presents and stuff and then she wrote this cute thing on the mirror and it was all cutesy and it was just really sweet of her to do that. So Christmas morning, at the end of all the presents she held up this envelope and was like, "This is the last one! It's from Jesus!" On the inside was a little piece of paper that said, 'eternal life'. I felt a little like I was in an Ensign article but also it created kind of a sweet atmosphere and we were just silent for a while and thought about Christmas and all those shinanagins . I don't know if you guys have read it, but there is this article from the December 2015 Ensign called "Be at Peace" that talks about sitting with Christ of Christmas Day and letting his spirit warm you like you would if you were sitting in front of a fire. It was a nice morning.

Then we went to the Omer's house (wife is Italian, husband is American, but they both speak English) and watched Inside Out (Which I loved. Can't wait to watch it again.) and ate so much good food and talked and chilled and they gave us chocolate and they gave me an Italian vegan cookbook. And then we went to the church and skyped and that was just the best thing ever. After the call we just kind of chilled around and talked about our families and then we headed home.

Back to Work

So we were going to do this pass by of a person who requested a LDM. She wasn't home last time but we thought we'd try her again just for kicks. We ring...she doesn't answer. So I'm like, well we still have an hour before our less active's appointment across the street so let's do some casa I guess. We ring someone else's name and she lets us in immediately. My first thought, "Yeah, she is probably expecting company and as soon as she sees our tags she'll kick us out." It turns out that I was right, she thought we were her son but she lets us in anyway because...she was baptized into our church over twenty years ago but now she just believes in energy and the universe and not in God. So we talk to her for a while, she is super chill, set something up for later that week (we are going to see her in a few hours) and then salute her and head on our way to our LA appointment. The appointment with them went well and we were able to figure out why they felt uncomfortable at church and then tell them that God loved them and that we loved them and there was just so much love. And then we left and went to the bus stop and I started talking to these people from Peru and they were pretty cool and stuff. They were really Catholic but they said we could come by some time.

A Cold Skinny Month

In other earth shattering news La Romana is closed until February 1st :( it is going to be a cold, skinny month.) So that blows. But! Good things this week are that after saving both the Chex mix that you sent and the honey nut Chex that the Moodys brought me, I am eating both and life is good.

1/6/16

New Year's Eve

Happy New Year!! Woo 2016! So for New Year's Eve we had to be in early because people throw fireworks out of the window. And in the south they are even crazier and throw out TVs and fridges and washing machines and stuff. But not in Varese. We stayed up until midnight and then ran around on the balcony whooping and hollering with the rest of the city and watched people set off fireworks and send up lanterns and listened to country music because 'MURICA. It was a really good night. I was really happy that night.

A Slow Week

This week has been really really slow because everyone is still on vacation until the 7th because today (the 6th) is Epifania. (Some holiday about a good witch that rides around on a broom and only pulls out your eyeballs if you were bad that year...that wasn't a joke) Aaaaanyway the point is that no one was really able to see us and everyone we called was like, "Ummm it's vacation. Call me back on the seventh." Haha, I'm just imagining what I would say if it was the middle of Christmas break and two missionaries tried to call me and set something up...ermm, no thanks. Call me in January. Anyway, because of all the feste, this week was really slow. But we did hand out a bunch of cards for the Christmas video. And there were some nice interactions from that. Also some weird ones. I was in "hand it to everyone" mode and I accidentally handed it to a mean looking cop who was like, "Who are you!? What are you doing?! Where are your papers?!" Holy freak dude. Chill. I explained to him everything, showed him my visa at which point he started walking away. He suddenly flipped around and came marching back, gave us back our card and said "I don't want this" and then left. There were also two drunk guys (at like eleven in the morning. Really guys? Either it's never too early for a drink, or you are still hung over from New Years) but I didn't realize they were drunk until I said, "Can I give you this?" extending a card to him, and then, in slurred Italian, "You can give me whatever you want." Ooookay moving on. So yeah. Oh. It's also FINALLY snowing. Finally. The first morning when it was snowing I just went outside and started crying a little because I miss dry snow. This stuff is like slushy from the sky. It's gross. I just miss Utah. Utah rocks. Anyway that is enough about that.

I'm Still Using You

A few days ago we were doing casa and handing out cards to people. We got let into this one building and got to the top and started ringing doorbells. No one. No one. Go away. I was just like, "Listen, I've been doing this for a year and it never works. They don't answer, and if they do, they don't let us in, and if they do, they don't want to hear it, and if they do, it doesn't go anywhere." It was a pretty crappy thing to be thinking. Especially because then we knocked on this one door and a cute mom and her son answered the door and they let us in. We talked for a while and she was like, "Well, I'm not interested in religion, but if my son is interested..." The son shook his head no. So I was right that they weren't interested. Yet. I'm trying to have faith that things carry though sometimes. But anyway, we were talking and then the dad came home and then they were like, well we have to eat dinner so we left but we got their number first. Idk. I left and we walked down the stairs and I was just like bleh. I don't actually know what my game plan is with my current struggles. As we left that house I kind of felt like God was telling me, "Look, I know you don't like this right now and I know it doesn't tickle your fancy, but because I know that, I'm proud of you for doing it anyway. And I want you to know that I'm still using you. You've still got value." That was good to hear. Anyway. I'm befuddled. But it'll pass. And if it doesn't then "forza" like they yell at World Cup games.

1/13/16

Life Likes Me

Thank you so so much for all the emails and voice bites and notes that you sent me throughout the week. I'm doing okay. Like you all said, it has been easier just to mentally cope with my feelings, understanding more of why it is happening. For that alone I am so so grateful. Another thing I have been trying to do is to think of one thing I am grateful for every....insert measurement of time (I just do it whenever I recognize something or when I am feeling gloomy.) I just acknowledge the challenges first saying "Yeah, this blows. I am cold, we just got our appointment canceled, and I'm feeling particularly lethargic and apathetic which is not a good combination. But at least there is pretty fog a thick as peanut butter. Makes things....nice. And....foggy." I've also taken to humming "I Like Life" from Scrooge in my head. I thought it was pretty funny the first time I did it. But the more I thought about it, the more touching it became. I started thinking about the lyrics as we were walking through centro, "I like life, life likes me," and when I got to the "life likes me" part, I actually teared up a bit cause how cool is that. Life likes me. No matter how I am feeling, life likes me. Wow, all of that sounds so #basicwhitegirl. Wtvr.

Isabella

This week we finally had a lesson with Isabella. She is so great. I really mean that. She has been through heck and back with the death of her brother and all I really want is for her to have peace. So this week we read the scripture that is like "men are that they might have joy" and she seemed to really like it. After talking about it for a while she said something, I can't remember what, and I just felt like we should pray all together right then so that she could feel God's love or peace or something. Cause she was always like, "No I don't feel anything anymore." So we all knelt down and I prayed (she says that she is embarrassed to pray in front of people) that she could feel God's love for her, and that he was there, and that he was mindful of her and her situation. It was a relatively short prayer, but I was definitely crying at the beginning. Probably because I needed it too. Anyway, we finished and then we all just knelt there in silence for probably three minutes. Maybe longer I don't know. And she looked up and was much calmer. I asked her how she felt. "I don't feel things anymore." Maybe she didn't. I don't know. But I think she felt something. In any case we asked her to pray every day to feel God's love. I told her that it might not come immediately, but that it would come. God thirsts to tell his children that he is there and that he loves them. He misses us a lot, I think. Anyway, it was a good lesson in the end.

Train Ride

Today we went to Switzerland with a member. We went to a chocolate factory! I felt like Charlie! The train ride up was actually really really peaceful. We left in the early morning because the member we were going with had to go to work in the afternoon. Anyway, we had to take a train up to Laveno where she lives which takes about forty minutes. We were on the train going past the lakes with the back drop of snow tipped mountains. When the sunrise started and the sky just went pink. Very pink. It was a good forty minutes. Just very serene. Which is what I need.

Swag Mirror

In other news I stole a swag mirror from Kiko (the famous Milano makeup store!)...Okay I didn't really steal it. It was in a garbage bag waiting to be thrown out and it was late and there was no one there so I kind of took it out (hooligans read: ripped it out) of the bag and ran away with it. Muahaha. But now I have a cool little table mirror souvenir thingy.

Sacrament Bread

Another kind of hilarious thing was that on Sunday no one brought bread for the sacrament so they broke open a Pantone that was left in the kitchen from the Christmas party (I swear, those things just float around for months) and picked out all the candied orange peel pieces and raisins. The sacrament bread was so delicious and sweet #onlyinitaly

"She Will Find What Is Lost"

As I have reflected back on this week and last I have realized that while these past few months and especially these past twenty or so days have been some of the hardest of my mission, I really have received so much love, support, encouragement, and understanding from both the people who know how I'm doing, but also from those who have absolutely no idea. God has been especially gracious and benevolent in his mercies to me. Grace is as my day and my cup is running over. Just like it is promised. I'm not in the clear, no, and I don't feel quite ready to hit the ground running. Quite the contrary. My legs are still wobbly. So I don't feel 100% again. Not even close. But I don't think I really need to be. God will take care of me in whatever situation I am in. Good or bad or terrible. Remember that Kershisnik poster that Natalie Blades mailed to me called "She Will Find What Is Lost." Yeah, I have been looking a lot at that recently. Probably it would be more correct to say that I have been feeding a lot off of that recently. Mom, your email to me about the angels, and the fact that I do feel a little lost from myself has magnified the power and spirituality of that poster. I don't really even know what to say about it. It's just something that when I look at it, it brings me peace and hope. It makes me feel taken care of. And so I look at it. I guess some things really are that childishly innocent and simple. I love you guys.

Sarah